I've also found that it can be very hard to see that one's not a good listener. It is my clients' greatest gripe when people just throw advice their way...yet they also do it too, as do I. Everyone hates it, but very few do to others what they want themselves.
Ultimately I think Christ was the greatest listener/counselor - knowing when to speak and when to refrain. Such wisdom.
So if you find that good listener, I encourage you to study what they do, understand why they make you feel better, and try to give them the same gift back. I will be trying to do the same.